Floyd The Barber
Bell on door clanks, come on in
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down chair, don't be afraid
Steamed hot towel on my face
I was shaved
I was shaved
I was shaved
Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip
Pee-pee pressed against my lips
I was shamed
I was shamed
I was shamed
I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bee, I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I die smothered in Aunt Bee's muff
I was shaved
I was shaved
I was shaved